I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
