I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
