he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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