Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My vagina just clenched in fear
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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