K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
