Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
