you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
