When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
