this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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