Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
