My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
