he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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