windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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