you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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