i may or may not be watching the land before time
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
