so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
