Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
