when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
