omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
