How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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