It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
