You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
