just come out here and I will go home with you...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
