The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize