I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
