I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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