i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
