my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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