We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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