dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
