Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
