i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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