don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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