i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the condom got lost in my hair
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
