that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
