So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
