Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
