very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
