It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My day in three words: secret purse cake
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
