I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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