I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
