Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the day after is always just damage control
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize