i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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