You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
