Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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