Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
