Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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