So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
