yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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