wrigley field is MILF paradise
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
