so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
