Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
