Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
