..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
