Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish you could order shots online.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize