Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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