dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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