Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My cat gives me a boner
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
