i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
