spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
