are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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