Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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