clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
