So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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