no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
