Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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