I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
