While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
