dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
only you would photoshop your dick
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize